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Sad..
Written @ 11:31 PM
Today, a tragic thing happened. A Death happened. My grandma passed away. My grandma on my Dad's side. My Dad's mum. My grandma has been sick for days, months and probably years. She has been sick for so long that i have gotten used to her being in the hospital. We visit her frequently but i never knew what to do to ease her pain. What to do to make it better. I have always thought of sitting beside her bedside telling her stories and tales. Getting her involved in an activity. Playing puzzle? Cross stitching? Something to occupy her time and forget about her pain and sorrow. However i didnt. I wasnt as close to her as i was with my grandma on my mum's side. My mum's mum. So, i didnt bring the courage to do it. I wish i had now but its all too late.

I didnt think i would shed any tears seeing how i wasnt close to my grandma and rarely show any affection towards her but i did. Feeling the sad atmosphere, looking at the sadness in people's eyes and seeing 'wan cu' greiving over her late sis. It all struck me in the chords and tears just kept coming down. Though my dad was seen as calm thru it all but i'm sure that deep inside he must be aching. I sympathise for my dad. He is her son. The loss of a mum is a real tragic thing. I doubt i would be able to handle also but i guess he is prob tying to put on a brave front for us all.

The death of my grandma might take time to get used to. I have been having four grandparents till now. Some of those i know have had their grandma or grandpa passed away and i've alwyas told people i had four when asked. All still alive but now i have 3. Only 3 grandparent now. It might take some time for me to adapt to not having my grandma(dad's side) around. I hope i can through this and deal with the change. Slowly, painfully and surely insya-Allah. With God here to be with me on this journey, i'm sure everything will be alright. Insya-Allah..